Okay, lemme make one thing straight t'ya lab-nerds:

The hallways ain't your temporary lab space.

So I'd appreciate it if you'd stop scarin' the livin' daylights out of employees, who page me hysterically, screamin' as if they chipped a goddamn nail or something and when I arrive to the scene, I find out that it's just a lab rat that escaped (from god knows where).

Can't exactly tazer a lab rat, because firstly, they'll stink up the whole floor with their fried asses and they are hard to catch.

So. Here's what I'm suggesting for the safety of everyone around here.

Move to the basement and stay there. With the rats. And the surgically removed brains in a bottle.

The brain in the bottle was pretty cool though. Feel bad for the sucker who had owned it before.

Where the hell is Zaraki nowadays?

If he’s thinking about leaving this security job without telling anyone and then coming back to bitch my ass about how things have been run in his absence, he’s got another thing coming.

Not that I've been here all this time, but still. Wasn't my fault that the tournament took longer than usual, and then I had to work my ass off to earn my ticket back home. Brazilians are freaking pricks and their kicks hurt like hell.

The man had better not have given over the reins to Baldy when he left. Because then, we’d all be fucked. Ikkaku doesn’t know the difference between his bare ass and his bare head.

I strongly petition for a upgrade in my payroll. Seriously.

And a better health plan, because if this keeps up, I’m going have to take some kinda pills or shit to prevent freaking ulcers from forming.

Please?